A Christmas Haven Read online

  “Ivy.” Holly stood, feeling a bit stronger already. “It’s my decision to make. I’m not giving up what God has asked me to do, but I’ll do it by being a volunteer. The bishop will have no issue with me visiting our sick people to make sure they’re taking their medicines. I will continue to encourage them to visit Greene’s and go see Jules at the clinic. But unlike working at the pharmacy, I’ll be able to take our babies with me, and that will be just fine with the church.”

  Ivy clamped her hands on her head. “I can’t believe this.”

  Holly put a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “A year ago I would’ve said the same thing. But if I’m serious about trusting God with my life—and I am—then I have to be willing to follow the Old Ways even when I don’t agree with them. Our way isn’t easy, but I believe in it.”

  It wasn’t the end of her life or even of her involvement in health care for the Amish. She just had to keep the faith, let go of her disappointment, and create a new dream concerning her work with Greene’s.

  Sixteen

  The late-October afternoon breeze rustled Ivy’s dress, and she smelled the salty-sweet scent of kettle corn wafting from the fall festival snack tent. Her stomach growled. But there was no time for her or Tegan to grab anything to eat right now.

  Raysburg Field was buzzing with adults and children. This spot near Greene’s Pharmacy was perfect for a lot of outdoor functions, especially one like today’s, with a few event tents set up, a bouncy house, and a petting zoo. People seemed to be really enjoying today.

  Ivy focused on the small group in front of her welcoming station. She plucked a yellow balloon from the bunch on the check-in table and handed it to a little boy who looked to be about four. “Here you go. Enjoy!” She nodded at the adults standing behind him, assuming they were his parents. “Welcome to the Primrose Primary School Fall Festival. The snack tent is over to the left, and it’s all free. There’s a bouncy house in the middle, and be sure to visit the petting zoo located on the right side of the field. We brought my favorite cow, Polka Dot, and her new baby, Bubbles.” She slid a clipboard toward the adults. “If you would please sign in, that’ll help us know which families participated today. I’m Ivy. If you need anything, just come find me or my friend Tegan.” She motioned to Tegan, who was edging the helium tank closer to the table, probably to be sure no one tripped over it.

  “Thanks.” The man filled in his name and the number of people in his group. The little boy had bounced up and down when Ivy mentioned the petting zoo.

  This preschool was an awesome client for her and Tegan’s business because they held at least three big parties every year, starting with the fall festival. Ivy did a quick count of the balloons left in the bunch. Only six remaining balloons. She and Tegan had thought ahead and tied each of them to a small bag of animal crackers so they wouldn’t float away. She looked down and skimmed the number of people who’d signed in compared to how many families were part of Primrose Primary School. At least fifteen more students could arrive.

  “Hey, Tegan, do you think you could fill seven more balloons for me? I’m going to check on the petting zoo.”

  “Sure thing.” Tegan gave Ivy a small salute with her index finger.

  Ivy walked across the grassy field. Holly and Mamm had offered to help her work the snack tent, and they were currently passing out bags of freshly popped kettle corn. But Ivy kept walking because the petting zoo was calling her name.

  Her thoughts reeled back to this field last October. Holly had planned a health fair, and a mix-up caused a low turnout. Later Holly, Mamm, and Ivy, with the support of the Amish community, had worked hard to save enough money for Greene’s to host another health fair this coming spring. By then Holly’s wedding would be behind her, and the weather would be warmer. But Ivy supposed that wasn’t going to happen now. How had Holly agreed to give up her pharmacy job after working there for more than a decade? She’d earned her GED, passed the tests to get into nursing school, and begun the process of getting her LPN degree. She was giving up all that? Ivy couldn’t fathom it.

  She also couldn’t imagine being in Arlan’s shoes. Eight weeks ago he had written to his Daed, explaining Magda’s legal rights and telling him that they weren’t coming home yet. He hadn’t heard a word from his Daed since. Magda had turned eighteen last week and now had the legal right to live wherever she chose.

  Life seemed to be a series of hard decisions that angered or pleased loved ones. Conventional wisdom said, “Be true to yourself, follow your path, and don’t listen to naysayers.” But that approach didn’t grasp the whole picture. There was a lot of chatter in the world about how to make a decision and stick to it, but that was only half of the conversation. How did one live with the consequences and sacrifices of the decision?

  In order to marry Josh, Holly was giving up everything she’d worked toward for the last decade. How was that fair? Years ago, despite caring about Josh, Holly had decided never to date. Last year about this same time, Ivy was the one who talked her into opening that door and courting Josh, knowing the relationship would bring joy and contentment unlike anything else could. But Ivy hadn’t understood the sacrifices Holly might need to make if she fell in love.

  The one thing Ivy did know is Holly didn’t regret her decision to lower her guard and allow herself to fall in love with Josh.

  “Ivy?” Mamm called.

  She turned to see her Mamm scurrying toward her.

  “Hey.” Mamm was breathless as she put her arm around Ivy’s shoulders. “I…I need to tell you something.” They walked slowly, Mamm’s head down. “While making kettle corn and passing it out, I realized something.”

  Ivy waited, hoping Mamm’s display of acceptance and kindness toward her wouldn’t end with the conversation.

  “I’ve been dismissive and stubborn. You opened up to me, telling me who you are, and all I could see was who you weren’t. Since the day you were born, I wanted you to be the person I thought was best for you—a faithful Amish woman. But who you are is a kind, caring, let’s-share-love-through-a-fancy-event person, and maybe my real problem with that is not who you are but how it looks.” Mamm stopped and faced her. “I love who you are, Ivy. You have a really good, faithful heart. I still think you could find ways to be the real you inside the Old Ways, but if you don’t, I choose to respect that, to trust you.”

  Ivy pulled her Mamm into a tight hug. “Denki.”

  Mamm held her. “I see you, sweetie, and although I have concerns and reservations about the path you’re taking, I’m proud of you.” Mamm grinned. “Apparently Englisch events have the power to open eyes.”

  Ivy grinned. “They do, don’t they? But what changed your mind?”

  “A few minutes ago several verses came to me with such force I almost staggered. God called Abram to leave his people and his father’s household, and I realized that I can’t decide for you what God is saying to you.” Mamm kissed her cheek. “I gotta go. My heart swelled with understanding, and I abandoned Holly with the kettle corn to find you.” Mamm hurried off, but she turned and waved.

  Relief coursed through Ivy, and hope bubbled like clear spring water. Maybe her Mamm would be in a good place by the time Ivy left.

  She kept walking, and the petting zoo came into sight. Arlan was kneeling next to a small boy who looked nervous about touching the large cow in front of him. The petting zoo was actually just a pen with some of her family’s own animals, supplemented by a few of Joshua’s friendliest chickens. Tegan’s dad had used his truck and horse trailer to haul them to the field. Ivy had brought her gentlest horse, Maple, and Red was supervising the children’s interactions with Maple. Also on scene was Nell, the goat, Polka Dot, the cow, and her new baby, Bubbles.

  When Tegan came up with the petting-zoo idea, Ivy knew she had to bring the sweet eight-week-old calf and Arlan, the “cow whisperer,” to supervise.

&
nbsp; “There, see?” Arlan said softly. “She’s big compared to you, but she’s just a baby and gentle as they come. Good girl, Bubbles.” Arlan guided the child’s hand onto the calf’s side. Polka Dot stood next to her baby and munched her hay without reacting.

  Ivy couldn’t help but smile.

  “Yeah,” the boy whispered before pointing at a fluffy orange Silkie chicken. He grinned at Arlan and hurried to his parents and pulled them toward the chicken. Arlan was still crouched, chuckling as the boy and his folks scurried off.

  “Having fun?” Ivy stepped forward and patted the calf’s side.

  Arlan’s brows went up, and she knew he hadn’t realized she was standing there.

  He stood. “Actually, ya. When you said ‘Englischer party,’ this wasn’t what I imagined. Other than their clothes, the decorations, and a few other small things, this really isn’t that different from one of our big family gatherings.”

  Ivy stroked the calf’s soft black-and-white coat. Arlan must’ve washed and brushed both cows before this event. “People are just people pretty much wherever you go. You have the good and the bad, but I only do family-friendly parties—ones like this or birthday parties or costume parties but mostly baby and bridal showers. Do you see something wrong with any of that?” Why did she want his opinion?

  “Nee. I don’t.”

  Wow, what a change from his previous viewpoint. His eyes met hers, and her heart leaped in her chest. What was wrong with her? Arlan had been different in the two months since Lorraine visited the farm. She knew it hadn’t gone well, and he spoke less and less about the differences between Swartzentruber life and the Zook farm. When not working, he devoured books and wrote in journals.

  His lips formed a charming smile as he petted the calf. “No need to look so shocked. I like the way you see life, Ivy Zook.”

  Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest, and she was tempted to put her hand over his. She shouldn’t be interested in him. He wasn’t staying, and neither was she. Her effort to open his heart to being less judgmental of Old Order people and Englischers hadn’t been to persuade him to be a part of either group but rather to help him enjoy his life more when he returned to his Swartzentruber community.

  Her face warmed as he held her gaze, and she broke eye contact. “So, um, speaking of enjoying life, have you ever gone caroling?”

  A family walked up, and Arlan turned to greet them.

  Ivy was sure that Mamm had volunteered her to lead the caroling again this year as part of a plan to convince Ivy she didn’t want to leave the Amish. Mamm was a thinker, and Ivy found it hard to accept never again enjoying caroling practice or going caroling with her Amish friends. It was even harder to imagine never enjoying camaraderie with them again. She might see them on occasion, bump into them when shopping or such, but there would be a wall separating her from all those she’d grown up with. By next year she’d be Englisch, and there’d be no more Amish youth caroling, no more bonfires or frozen-pond gatherings. No more—

  “Caroling?” Arlan asked.

  The family was gone, and Arlan had returned to their previous conversation.

  Ivy tried to focus. “It’s where your youth group sings Christmas songs, sometimes while visiting people door-to-door and sometimes at a bonfire. You know, spreading Christmas cheer and all that?”

  He looked confused. “I know about caroling from reading books set a hundred or two hundred years ago, but this is a current thing? And it’s also among the Amish?”

  “It is. My guess is Swartzentrubers aren’t big on Christmas cheer.”

  He shrugged. “Some youth groups might do that. But my district is so tiny and shrinking constantly as families continue to move to the New York community. So, no, I’m afraid I’ve never spread Christmas cheer.”

  “Well, there’s a first time for everything, Mr. Grinch.”

  He poked his hand under his straw hat and scratched his head. “Mr. who?”

  “It’s from a children’s book.”

  “Are you holding out on what books you share, Ivy?”

  Seeing his smile felt like warm sunshine after a cold rain.

  “Maybe you’re afraid of the frustration I’ll cause as we discuss characters and story lines.”

  He enjoyed teasing. She’d figured out that much.

  She chuckled. “Ya, that’s it. I’m afraid of the conversation we’d have about it.” She liked their banter about books. They talked about them every mealtime, and their opposing views had caused boisterous chats and laughter but not a bit of frustration. “I don’t own a copy. I read it at Tegan’s years ago. Anyway, my point is that my Mamm is hosting caroling practice for the youth each week starting tomorrow.” Ivy suppressed a grin as she moved to Polka Dot and rubbed the cow’s side. “Actually, you don’t have a choice in coming, and neither do I. Mamm volunteered me, without my permission, to direct the caroling since I’ve done it for our district the past five years, and she offered to host the gathering each week right under your room in the carriage house, in what’s currently the storage area. So later today we’ll clean out the bottom floor of the carriage house and set up chairs.”

  “Today?” He motioned at the livestock and temporary fencing. “And there will be a herd of cows waiting to be milked by the time we’re back home.”

  “There’s been no time to do it before now, and we can’t do it tomorrow since it’s a Sabbath.” She patted his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. A little hard work never hurt anyone.”

  “That from a woman who wants to do nothing but plan parties for a living.” He angled his head as his brows flitted up and down. Was he flirting with her?

  She wagged her finger at him. “And you think that’s easy?” Why was she flirting back?

  He looked around at the tents, temporary fences, food, games, and livestock. “Apparently not.”

  “Tomorrow after the caroling the group will take off for the home of whoever is hosting the youth singing and snacks for the week. They’ll be gone just in time for the evening milking to begin.”

  He narrowed his eyes, amusement dancing in them. “Are you trying to increase my workload, Ivy Zook?”

  “Says the man who tripled the Zook herd.”

  A couple of children stopped several feet from Bubbles, and Arlan crouched again, smiling. “It’s smart to be cautious around animals, but this one is gentle. It’s okay.” He motioned. “Kumm.”

  The boy and girl eased forward, and Arlan petted the cow, showing them it was okay and waiting patiently as each wavered on whether to touch the animal.

  The list of everything Ivy would never get to do again once she left the Amish played over and over in her mind, screaming at her. A new thought hit. The list included something she hadn’t thought of—no more talking to Arlan.

  Hurt pierced her. Why did the list suddenly bother her so much? Was Mamm’s plan, the one to open her eyes, working?

  Or was the man patiently speaking to several children clouding her vision?

  Seventeen

  The sun hung low on the horizon as Arlan released twenty-four cows from the milking parlor into the pasture. The Zook farm had twenty-eight cows these days, but four were out of milking rotation for now, two were close to dropping a calf, and two were nursing calves.

  His breath was frosty as he went outside the barn to refill the man-made watering hole. The air smelled a bit like snow, but it would be rare even to get flurries in mid-November.

  A cow nudged him, and he turned. Cutie Pie wanted attention, and he patted her. He liked it here, although he was riddled with guilt day and night for feeling that way. He and Magda had been going to Sunday meetings, and he got a lot out of the messages, but there were still laws in the Word that these people didn’t keep. Were they right? If so, how could that be when the Word was clear about it?

  He returned to the barn,
grabbed a pitchfork, and made quick work of mucking out stalls while Red hosed the concrete walkways between the line of stalls.

  When the Zooks’ relatives had brought cows from their farms, it’d been a really good day. Something about Red and him bringing this farm back to a respectable state felt right. They had most of the original stalls repaired. They’d also purchased two dozen more milkers, and they’d mowed, baled, and stored the hay for the season. Next on the list had been cleaning, oiling, and putting away the horse-drawn plows and mowers. It was done too, but the work harnesses still needed cleaning.

  Ivy was right. Life had plenty of work and stress without hauling and heating water or milking every cow by hand. He enjoyed this kind of work, and he saw the benefit of allowing generators to help, but what did God really think about this way of living?

  He’d received a letter from his older brother, Nathaniel. When he first saw it, he thought his brother might have sent a check, returning Arlan’s investment in the New York farm. Instead, his brother had talked to their Daed, and Nathaniel assured Arlan that he simply needed to return home, with or without Magda, repent, and be faithful to Daed’s community for a year. Then he could move to New York and help work the farm he had financially invested in. It was a huge relief to know he could still return home and even be a part of the farm he’d invested in years ago.

  Laughter caught Arlan’s attention. He looked through the open double-wide doors. Ivy and Magda were in the side yard with heavy sweaters on, and they’d set up several bales of hay with a target on them. His heart filled with warmth and light. His sister had found forgiveness and peace with the help of the Zooks, their Old Order bishop, and the church.

  Ivy’s feet moved swiftly while she laughed, as if her enthusiasm caused her to do a little dance. When she pulled back the arrow and let it go, it landed nowhere near the target.

  He chuckled before turning back to his work.

  Red turned off the hose and looked out the doors, probably to see what had Arlan’s attention. “I got this. Go.”