The Hope of Refuge Read online

  Cara stood firm, not wanting to give an answer in front of Lori. “There are reasons. Good ones.”

  The woman leaned forward. “I’m not here because of an anonymous tip. This visit was initiated because the police filed a report based on what they had witnessed. Added to that, you removed Lori from school the first part of May. School doesn’t end in New York until mid-June or here for another week. Technically, she’s truant, and you’re the reason.” She tapped the pamphlets. “My gut says something’s going on that has nothing to do with questions about your parenting ability. Although your decision-making process does seem questionable.”

  Great. More viewpoints from the clueless. Cara figured the woman might survive two weeks with someone like Mike hounding her, maybe less.

  Mrs. Forrester shrugged. “I’m only here to help, but I want answers to every question.”

  Cara didn’t want her kind of help, but she stood. “Come on, Lori. You can wait outside with Ephraim.”

  Lori took her hand and walked silently until they were outside. “Is she gonna put cuffs on you and take you somewhere?”

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.” She wasn’t sure of much else, but that part didn’t worry her. They walked to the six-foot hedges and found the slight entrance. She spotted Ephraim on the swing with Anna Mary. They made a striking couple. “Can she stay with you for a few minutes?”

  “Ya.”

  Lori clutched her hand tighter. “I wanna stay with you.”

  Ephraim stood. “How about if we walk to the barn and check on Better Days?”

  Lori shook her head.

  “We’ll bring the pup back here.” Ephraim held out his hand, but Lori didn’t take it.

  Cara pulled her hand free. “I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.”

  “No.” Lori clutched her mother’s leg.

  Cara pried Lori’s hands free and knelt in front of her. “Come on, kiddo. I’m going nowhere. Can’t you trust me on this?”

  Lori wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. “I’ll be good. Just don’t leave me.”

  “You couldn’t get rid of me if you turned into a whole gang of trouble. Never forget that.” Cara hugged her tight and then stood. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

  Lori swiped at her tears and took Ephraim’s hand.

  He moved in closer to Cara. “How’s it going in there?”

  “Good, I think, except I’m afraid she’s going to ask questions about my life that I don’t have the answers to.”

  Ephraim chuckled, but it sounded forced, making her wonder if he actually cared. She knew he had honor to him or he wouldn’t be doing all this to help her. But that was different. Honor was what made people do certain things so they could live with themselves. Caring? Well… that meant she and Lori mattered.

  When she went back inside, Mrs. Forrester was on the couch waiting for her. Cara went to the rocker and sat, ready to answer the toughest questions yet.

  “Cara, what caused you to leave New York that you’re not willing to talk about in front of your daughter?”

  In spite of wanting to stonewall the woman, Cara described her years of dealing with Mike, and the woman took notes.

  Mrs. Forrester tapped her pen on the legal pad. “Logically one would think he’d have given up stalking years ago. But when you were in foster care and told the authorities, somebody blew it, Cara. I might be able to do some investigating, but you need to contact the police.”

  “No.”

  “He could be doing this to others.”

  She cursed. “That’s not my problem. When I tried to turn him in years ago, everyone ignored me. The only thing that matters to me is staying alive so I can keep Lori safe.”

  “Okay, okay.” She took the pamphlets off the table. “There are programs that offer assistance. Lori’s past the age to be eligible for WIC, but there are other policies in place to help provide food and shelter.”

  Cara held her hand up. “I don’t understand. Am I in a battle to keep Lori or not?”

  “Did you know your daughter saw Kendal doing drugs?”

  Cara swallowed. “Yes…Lori told me. Kendal and I had a big fight about it. It didn’t happen twice.”

  “Having no friends can be better than having bad ones.”

  “Oh yeah? When you have some maniac running everyone out of your life, let’s see how you feel.”

  The woman sighed. “Cara, you have a new start now, and I see no reason to consider removing your daughter from you.”

  Hope hung frozen in the air. Afraid it might turn to vapor and fade into nothing, Cara didn’t move.

  The woman stood. “I’ll do a follow-up or two. You need to get her enrolled in school before the next year begins.”

  “Is…is that it?”

  “We’re done for now.”

  Cara’s heart danced inside her chest, some weird, excited tap she’d never felt before.

  “I’ve seen and heard a lot in my years as a social worker, and overall you’ve handled a bad situation pretty well.” She passed the pamphlets to Cara and explained how to get government help.

  “I don’t want assistance. I just want to be left alone.”

  “Your decision. If you change your mind, let me know.”

  When they stepped outside, Ephraim walked toward them. Cara’s eyes met his, and she wondered if he knew what he’d done for her.

  Mrs. Forrester turned to her. “Thank you, Cara. I’d like to speak to Ephraim alone for a few minutes.”

  Deborah and Anna Mary told Ephraim good-bye and left. Cara took Lori inside, hoping Ephraim would come talk to her as soon as he could.

  “How’d I do, Mom?”

  She knelt in front of Lori. “You were you.” She licked her lips, trying to keep the tears at bay. “And that was absolutely perfect.”

  “Are the police coming back?”

  She tugged on her daughter’s dress. A week of wearing mostly the same dress day and night made for a very tattered outfit. It’d been a long journey to get free of Mike, but they finally had a new start. “Nope.”

  “We don’t have to hide anymore?”

  Cara gasped, fighting harder against the tears. “No, honey, we don’t.” She eased her arms around Lori, and the matchless comfort of the gesture swept through her.

  She heard footsteps on the porch and looked up, not caring if Ephraim noticed her tears.

  “Mrs. Forrester is gone.” He opened the screen door and walked inside. “She likes you. She said she wished all moms were as determined to take care of their little ones as you are.”

  Cara laughed. “Who cares whether she likes me or not?”

  His smile warmed her, and she rose to her feet. “You do, trust me.”

  The puppy whined, and Ephraim let him in. Feeling years of heaviness fall from her body, Cara felt giddy. The desire to dance around the room pulsed through her.

  Ephraim leaned against the counter. “Seems to me this deserves a celebration.”

  Lori ran to the center of the room, Better Days nipping at her heels. “Let’s dance! One, two, three.” She clapped her hands as she said each number.

  Cara laughed and hurried to her side. Better Days ran around them, barking. She and Lori hummed “My Girl” and clapped and danced a jig as they often did when the tiniest bit of good news came their way. They raised their arms and twirled, a tradition that cost them nothing but always made Lori happy. How long had it been since they’d danced and laughed? They twirled around and around, laughing and making their favorite wild moves with their bodies.

  When the dance was through, they gave themselves a round of applause. But suddenly Lori darted behind her, causing her to glance up. Two men dressed in black stood beside Ephraim. When had they come in? Lori pressed her body against Cara’s leg, holding on tightly.

  One man rubbed his chest. “In dei Heemet?” The man looked upset, and his voice wavered.

  The older man pulled his stare from C
ara. “Ephraim,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Kumm mus. Loss uns schwetze.”

  Ephraim nodded, and the two men left the house.

  He walked to Lori. “This is your home until we find something better suited to you with electricity and your own bedroom. No one is going to change that.” He placed his hand on her head. “Trust me?”

  Lori released her firm grip on Cara’s leg, her body relaxing as she nodded.

  The joy of a few minutes ago faded from Cara. “Is everything okay?”

  “Ya. But I need to leave. I’ll sleep in the shop tonight. I don’t have time to start a cook fire. Can you?”

  “Sure. Are you in trouble?”

  “I’m not in trouble with the One who counts.”

  “What?”

  “For you, the police and Mrs. Forrester counted. We all have someone we don’t want to be in trouble with.”

  She laughed. “Maybe you should take her somewhere extra nice.”

  A puzzled look covered his face for a moment. “Oh, you think I meant…” He chuckled and tipped his hat. “Good night, ladies.”

  Still fighting tears, Deborah slipped into a clean dress for tonight. She and Mahlon had made plans, but she was in no mood for going out. Part of her wanted to crawl into bed and pull the blankets over her head. But she hoped to get Mahlon to change his mind about leaving tomorrow, and she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to be near Ephraim. Maybe once she had time with him, she’d begin to understand why he’d done such a brazen, foolish thing.

  Hearing men’s voices outside, she moved to the window. The bishop and her Daed stood in the side yard, talking to Ephraim. She raised the window higher so she could eavesdrop.

  “I understand how this looks,” Ephraim said, “but I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m just asking for some time to work with her, to help her get on her feet.”

  “She’s worse than her mother,” Daed said. “Malinda would never have dressed like that or stolen from us or dragged her child around, homeless. If you don’t put a separation between you and her, you’ll put one between you and God.”

  “It’s not like that. She’s on a path she didn’t choose. It was chosen for her, and I want to help her get off it. And she’s not a bad influence.” Deborah heard the ire in her brother’s voice as he defended himself. She couldn’t imagine him giving in to any temptations with a girl, but she never would’ve believed he’d invite an Englischer woman, this Cara, to stay with him either.

  “Did we not see her dancing in your home? In that tight clothing, with too much skin showing, even her belly.” The bishops voice remained calm as he tried to reason with Ephraim.

  “She doesn’t see things like we do. You see her ways as sinful. She sees them as normal.”

  “It doesn’t matter how she sees them. Get her out of your life and away from this community,” Daed added.

  Deborah wondered why they wanted to get rid of the girl. She understood getting her out of her brother’s house and away from him, whether he was sleeping in the shop or not. But why would they want her out of Dry Lake?

  “I can’t do that.”

  A knot formed in Deborah’s stomach.

  “Please don’t do this,” the bishop said. “If you refuse to submit, we’ll have no choice but to be very strict on you until you’re willing to follow wisdom. A shunning is always painful, but will I be forced to draw lines even more severe than is normal?”

  Someone knocked on Deborah’s door. “Kumm.”

  Anna Mary held out Deborah’s black apron. “All pressed and ready to go.”

  “Denki.”

  The bishop stood near Ephraim, talking softly, and she could no longer hear him.

  “What are you looking at?” Anna Mary moved to the window.

  Deborah felt like a dress being run through the wringer. Why was Ephraim being so stubborn?

  Anna Mary’s face turned ashen. “The bishop knows?”

  Deborah slid into her apron. There wasn’t anything she could say that would make this better. The damage had been done.

  Anna Mary slowly turned from the window and sat on the bed. “Don’t worry so much about Ephraim. He wanted to help this girl, but I also think he wants to test me.”

  Deborah pinned the apron in place around her waist. “What do you mean?”

  “He’s been single all these years, goes for long spells without courting. He’s been seeing me longer than anyone. We’ve been getting really close. I can feel his voice inside me even when he’s working out of town.” She pulled a pillow into her lap. “And now he does this? You can’t tell me it’s not odd.”

  Mulling over her friend’s conclusions, Deborah placed her Kapp on her head. “If he’s shunned, will you wait for him?”

  “Of course. We’ll be allowed to visit him, and we can take him special dinners. Singings and outings will be forbidden, but we can work around that.”

  Deborah sat beside her friend. “I heard what the bishop said. I don’t think the normal restrictions will apply.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Ephraim’s refusing to remove Cara from his home or separate his life from hers. He intends to do as he sees fit.”

  Hurt filled Anna Mary’s eyes. “For me there is no one else. But the waiting won’t be the hardest part. The damage to his reputation won’t fade for years.”

  Deborah grabbed straight pins from the nightstand and weaved one through the Kapp and strands of her hair. “It makes me feel sick thinking about it.”

  “Cara is nothing more than a troublemaking nobody…a…a tramp.” Anna Mary tossed the pillow onto the bed. “He felt sorry for her and was willing to help. The idea of people thinking otherwise just makes me mad.”

  Taken aback by her friend’s harsh view of Cara, Deborah moved to the window. The yard was empty now, the conversation over. Ephraim and Mahlon were probably downstairs, waiting for them. “Excommunicated.” She hated the feel of the word in her mouth. “Ephraim’s doing this. Mahlon is getting away because he feels like it. Why do men have to be so hardheaded sometimes?”

  Anna Mary opened the bedroom door. “I have no idea. And they say women are difficult to understand.” She shrugged. “Maybe the bishop won’t be so tough on him after all.”

  “Maybe.” But Deborah didn’t think so, not after hearing what the bishop had said to Ephraim.

  As they walked into the living room looking for Mahlon and Ephraim, she caught a glimpse of movement in her parents’ bedroom. “I’ll be back.”

  She went to the doorway. Her Daed was sitting on the side of the bed, his elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands.

  Becca stood near him with her back to the doorway. “He won’t be allowed to work at his shop? That’s never been part of a shunning before. Will the business survive without Ephraim?”

  “I can’t think of that right now.”

  “That shop puts food in our babies’ mouths.”

  Deborah tapped on the door. “Daed?”

  “Deborah.” He stood, wiping his eyes. “You look nice, like a young woman ready for her beau.”

  She nodded. “Are you okay?”

  “Ya. A bit rattled, that’s all.”

  “Your brother…” Becca burst into tears. “All these children left to raise, and the oldest, who’s been a man of faith for many years, now begins to waver?”

  “He’s not wavering.” Deborah choked back the tears. “He’s not. He stepped outside the Ordnung, but he’ll take the discipline and go through the steps to become a member in good standing again. I know he will.”

  Her Daed brushed her cheek with his hand. “Of course he will. Now, what did you need to see me about?”

  “I was looking for Ephraim and Mahlon.”

  “They’ve gone to the shop. Your brother needs to teach Mahlon a lot between now and Sunday.”

  She couldn’t believe the procedure for a shunning was moving so quickly. “Sunday?”

  Daed nodded. “The announcement will happen at church.”
Her heart thudded against her chest. “Why so soon?”

  “This situation with Cara is worse than Ephraim said.” The ache that settled inside her chest was familiar, like she was losing a family member all over again. “Oh, Daed.”

  “It’ll be fine, Deborah. Just a little storm. We’ll get through it.” But she knew he didn’t really believe that. She could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. “I’ll be with Ephraim, Mahlon, and Anna Mary tonight. I’ll talk with him. Okay, Daed?”

  He smiled, his eyes misting. “Sure. Do what you can.” He rubbed his chest. “I…I think I’ll lie down for a bit.”

  Deborah helped him get comfortable and kissed his cheek. “Please don’t take this too hard. He’s doing this because he’s a good man, not because of sin.”

  Her Daed patted her hand. “I hope you’re right.”

  She left, eager to try to talk some sense into her brother.

  Standing at his desk, Ephraim tried explaining unfamiliar things about the business to Mahlon: bookkeeping and ordering hardware, lumber, and various items from the paint store. Open in front of them was a color-coded calendar that mapped out daily goals as well as long-term goals. It all had to do with the business of cabinetmaking, including customer service.

  Mahlon shoved his hands into his pockets. “I thought your roots and your respect for the Old Ways went deeper than doing something like this.”

  Ephraim tossed his pen onto the work-load chart. “Are you hearing anything I’m saying about the shop operations?”

  “I can’t get all this by Sunday You’re the owner. Grey’s the foreman. I just build cabinets and do what I’m told.”

  As the reality of the impending ban began to press in tighter, Ephraim couldn’t stop wondering how his family and business would fare without him. He moved to a file cabinet and began searching for any records that might help Grey and Mahlon during his absence. He’d expected to be excommunicated, but he’d never imagined the kind of strictness the bishop had just imposed on him.

  A shunning was a rare thing. When the bishop did see it as necessary, the disciplinary time usually included a few painful restrictions. People couldn’t take anything from his hand, but they could give things to him and were encouraged to do so to show love. He wouldn’t be allowed to sit at a table with others during mealtime. He knew his family; they’d simply choose not to eat at a table. Instead they’d share meals while sitting in the living room or outside in lawn chairs, and Ephraim could join them in those settings. Being under the ban would cause conversations to be awkward at first, but he and his family and friends would work their way through that discomfort, and inside a normal shunning he would have been allowed to do his job, even if he couldn’t hand things to anyone Amish or tote one end of a set of cabinets.