Gathering the Threads Read online

  “No, and I won’t. He and the others held down the fort for me. Without them I wouldn’t have a café by this point. He’s turned over everything, even the petty cash, so I’ll either figure it out, or there’s five thousand fewer dollars to work with.”

  “Well maybe at least ask. Any chance someone forgot to make a deposit?”

  “For five thousand dollars? That’s several weeks’ worth of deposits, and Abram assured me they went to the bank each week.”

  “How big of a mess is it?”

  “No one’s received a full paycheck since the café opened. With the missing money and what’s been spent on coffee machines and such for the café and medical bills for Cilla, I’m not sure there will be enough to pay next month’s mortgage. Nicholas gave me a debit card with a thousand dollars on it, which is both generous and yet not nearly enough.”

  “It’ll help, though, and I could—”

  “You won’t.” She set her fork and knife on the plate with solid clinks and looked him in the eye.

  He nodded.

  She relaxed. “I’m not sure I’ll even use the debit card Nicholas gave me. He’s grieving over the situation with Skylar and me leaving and his countless mistakes. I can’t take advantage of that.” She looked exasperated. “What is it with us Brennemans and money? First the dairy farm and now this?”

  “The café is a new small business. Those are notorious for being tough to keep afloat. You’ll get the financials figured out.”

  “I’m beginning to think we’re poor because we have no money skills.”

  “You know what happened that caused your farm to suffer, right?”

  “Something happened?”

  “I was eight. That would’ve made you three, so it makes sense you don’t remember it. No one talks about it in your house?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Your Daed had a milking herd, one of the best in the state is what my Daed said. Disease struck, and he lost half his herd.”

  “He didn’t buy any new cattle to rebuild his herd?”

  “The bishop said that it was God’s will the cows died and that Isaac needed to accept it and rebuild the herd slowly.”

  “Not sure I agree with that thinking—although you should note that I have dozens of warring opinions coming at me from Scripture, Amish and non-Amish preachers, authors from times past and today. But moving on, cows have calves, and the cycle repeats continually. It’s been seventeen years, Quill.”

  “His calves are often sold quickly because that provides instant money to pay bills. The loss of income meant your family had to borrow money to live on. I think maybe things snowballed from there.”

  “More like an avalanche.” She sat back, seeming to stare through him. “If Daed had even ten more milking cows, he could make ends meet. What does that run a head?”

  “Supreme milking cows—about two thousand dollars a head.”

  She coughed. “He’d need eighteen to twenty thousand dollars to buy enough cows to comfortably pay the bills. My brain is fuzzy and is still full of opinionated voices, but you’ve made my purpose clear again.”

  “Then being forced to eat this meal has been worth it.”

  Amusement glimmered in her eyes for a moment. “One last thing.”

  “Dessert?” he teased.

  “I’d like to move in with your Mamm.”

  “She would love that.”

  “But Daed’s not keen on it, and he says the bishop won’t be either.”

  Quill knew what the bishop thought and why. The man was a tyrant with a Bible in his hand, preaching about love and forgiveness. “What’s your Daed’s hesitancy?”

  “He seems to think her ways caused all her sons to leave, and he’s concerned it’ll rub off on me.” She shrugged. “Sorry.”

  “Hey, I asked. You answered.” Quill knew what the community thought of his Mamm. She’d been unjustly tried and found guilty, and her one bright spot in the district was Ariana. “Move in, Ari. I know my brothers would agree with me on that. Just don’t grab a gun the next time you hear one of us sneaking in to visit.”

  Ariana sat up straighter, looking much better than when he’d arrived. “Tell them I’ll try not to shoot any of you.”

  Quill laughed. “You’ll try not to?”

  Lovina stood against the wall of her living room, unable to believe or stop what was happening. Ariana had arrived home from the B&B yesterday. The Saturday afternoon reunion had been better than Ariana’s much-anticipated arrival from the Englisch world a week earlier. She seemed happy to be back, and until the last hours she’d been less outspoken about what she believed and wanted. But then…

  “You will not bring the world into this home.” From his tattered armchair, Isaac studied Ariana while holding out his hand, waiting for her to place her phone in it.

  Rudy was on the couch behind Isaac and the bishop. The bishop had allowed Rudy to stay only if he remained quiet. He had been visiting Ariana when things blew up, but since the bishop arrived, he’d sat quietly on the couch. If the stress on his face was any indication, he didn’t like what was happening.

  Isaac had found the cell phone on the bathroom floor a couple of hours ago. It seemed odd that Ariana would’ve accidentally dropped it, knowing how taboo it was in this district to own one. Isaac’s hands were trembling when he showed it to Lovina, and after he’d fiddled with it for a while, he uncovered numerous texts between Ariana and Quill from her time of living out in the world. Several of the texts had been sent while Ariana was at the B&B. Had Rudy been aware that Ariana was texting Quill during that week?

  Ariana leaned toward her Daed, pouring fresh coffee from the percolator into his mug. She then filled the bishop’s mug, but the phone she had taken back from her Daed an hour ago remained inside her apron pocket.

  Earlier, while Isaac was trying to reason with her about giving up her phone, he had set it on the table and turned to get a drink of water. At that same time the bishop arrived, wanting to talk about someone who had called him and said certain things had occurred during Ariana’s time at the B&B. With the bishop’s watchful eye on her, she held her Daed’s gaze as she eased the phone from the table. It wasn’t as if she was trying to deceive them. It was her saying, It’s mine, and you didn’t have my permission to take it. She then put it into her apron pocket.

  Ariana doing that in front of the bishop had embarrassed and angered Isaac, which wasn’t a good combination for Isaac keeping a level head. When the bishop asked to question Ariana concerning what happened at the B&B, Isaac didn’t hesitate to give his permission.

  Rudy and Lovina suggested that Sunday wasn’t the best day for this kind of discussion, hoping the bishop would decide to wait. That would allow time for Isaac to calm down and for Lovina to speak with him privately. But thus far the conversation had centered on the phone, not the B&B.

  Ariana set the percolator on the coffee table and picked up a bowl of sugar. “I shouldn’t have brought the cell phone inside. You’re completely right.” She held the bowl out toward her Daed, but he and the bishop shook their heads. Ariana’s lips formed a tender smile. “This is your home.” She set the bowl beside the percolator. “I’ll take the cell elsewhere and won’t bring it inside again. Not ever.”

  The bishop steadied his eyes on her while shaking his head. “My stance on cell phones has been clear throughout all my years as bishop. They are allowed under specific circumstances for work when I approve it, and even then it’s never to be on in someone’s home. It was on when your Daed found it. I want to look at your phone to see what you’ve been doing with it while under your Daed’s roof.”

  Ariana sat in the tattered wingback chair across from them, eyes lowered. “I’m sorry. I won’t allow it.”

  The bishop’s face turned red. “She’s been draus in da Welt, and now da Welt is in her.”

  Ariana’s eyes moved to the bishop, and the gentleness on her face disappeared for a moment. She glanced at Rudy, and he held his hands out
a bit from him and pressed them downward, signaling her to remain calm.

  She inhaled, and all signs of frustration quickly vanished. “Of course I’ve been out in the world.” She interlaced her fingers, looking as clean and pure as sunshine on newly fallen snow. “But not because I wanted to be there. Yielding to Nicholas’s—my dad’s—demands was important to the whole community, and he insisted I leave here. That was my only way of keeping the midwife from facing a judge and jail time. Daed, Mamm, and you, Bishop Noah, fully agreed with the decision.”

  It was so unlike Ariana to behave in this way. But Lovina held on tight to the fact that despite Ariana’s atheist dad insisting she leave her Amish roots for a year, her girl had talked him into letting her return home after only three months. That was a victory to be celebrated, and Lovina was desperately trying to keep a grip on that triumph.

  Ariana smoothed her apron, looking thoughtful. “But the world isn’t inside of me. The proof of that is seen in how hard I fought to get back here. Surely you can see my heart through my efforts to return.” She lifted the fabric on the shoulders of her dress and apron before running her hands over her prayer Kapp, reminding them of her faithfulness to the Old Ways. Rudy smiled, looking pleased with her response. It was probably a good thing Isaac and the bishop couldn’t see him from where they sat.

  “I disagree.” Bishop Noah set his cup on the table beside him. “You hadn’t been home twenty-four hours when you went away again, this time against your Daed’s wishes.”

  “I needed some time to think.”

  “And time to text with Quill.”

  Ariana shook her head. “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Your Daed saw the texts on your phone. They sound as if you and he are a couple. Are you calling your Daed a liar?”

  “No. I’m not denying I texted him, but it wasn’t like what you’re saying.”

  “But Quill and Nicholas came to the B&B. Isn’t it odd that you needed a break from your Amish family to think but you met with two worldly men while in seclusion?”

  Ariana’s shoulders drooped, and her eyes reflected a kind of sadness that stabbed Lovina’s heart. If she was reading her girl right, she was holding her tongue because anything she said would make matters worse.

  The bishop leaned back, looking pleased with himself. “Isn’t it also interesting that the B&B sponsors MAP and that someone called me to say that Nicholas gave a substantial donation to them after talking to you? Are the reports true?”

  She blinked, looking unsure. “If Nicholas donated to the cause, I don’t think…I mean, I…wasn’t aware of it.”

  “So he was there.”

  “For a few minutes, ya. But I didn’t know the place supported MAP until I’d been there for days.”

  “Let’s say that’s true. When you found out, why did you stay?”

  “If I explain it, you’ll only find fault in it, but it was not my intent to disrespect the Amish by staying there. And I didn’t conspire with anyone to support a cause that evangelizes against us.”

  “Then give up your phone,” Noah said, “and we’ll decide your innocence by your own texts, e-mails, pictures, and calls.”

  Isaac held out his palm toward her again, wanting her to relinquish her cell phone. “Where is your humility to submit to those God has put over you?”

  “Daed, please. Nicholas asked me to keep the phone, and I told him I would. My sin is that since I knew you wouldn’t approve of it, I should’ve put it elsewhere before entering your home. But he’s my father too.”

  The hurt and confusion that ran through Isaac’s eyes cut Lovina. Had Isaac not expected her to bond with her biological father? Or maybe he hadn’t braced himself for exactly what that meant. Right now it meant Ariana was standing against the man who’d raised her in order to keep her word to the man who all but blackmailed her into leaving the community for a spell.

  “You are not under his roof,” the bishop said. “You are here with the people who taught you to obey.”

  Ariana wrapped her arms around her waist, rocking back and forth ever so slightly, and Lovina knew she was pondering her answer. Lovina could hardly breathe. The men were remaining calm, but they were coming down hard, unfairly so, and Lovina couldn’t understand why. Did the bishop believe her answers to his questions? She’d avoided answering about Quill, but if he’d met her there, that was inappropriate, even if he’d been in good standing. But plenty of Amish had cell phones without the bishop’s approval, including the youth who hadn’t yet joined the church, and Ariana fell into that category. The problem was that Bishop Noah didn’t like for anyone to have a cell phone unless he had personally given permission.

  Isaac had begun this standoff with Ariana because he was deeply concerned he was losing her, but this was not the way to win her back. Besides, she was home now. She was in love with Rudy, and patience was the key to getting her to set aside worldly opinions and desires.

  Would she yield to her Daed’s wishes? Within the first moments of Isaac’s confronting Ariana, he seemed to realize he no longer had the influence over her that he was used to. Rather than Ariana seeing her Daed’s viewpoint, she apparently saw flaws in his reasoning and used her newfound understanding to hold her ground. But this standoff terrified Lovina. Ariana had people out there now, family who would welcome her return, give her a place to live and money. Isaac and Lovina already had proof of that. The only thing stopping Ariana from doing exactly that was how she felt about Rudy and her Amish family.

  If Lovina were allowed to speak up with the bishop here, she would, but her appeals to Isaac to tread lightly would have to wait until the bishop went home. Could she do or say something that would draw this meeting to a close before the bond between Ariana and her Daed was worn too thin to repair?

  Winter winds pushed against the old house, and Lovina moved to the window. Dusky light from the setting sun revealed barrenness and snow-covered land for as far as her eyes could see. Tonight was the third evening her two girls—Ariana, the sweet girl Lovina had raised, and Skylar, the feisty daughter Lovina had given birth to—were under the same roof.

  Was it that wrong for Ariana to own a phone with messages on it that were no one else’s business? Still, Isaac said it wasn’t the phone or texts as much as what they stood for—Ariana being sneaky and headstrong.

  When Ariana had awakened today, she had seemed determined to use the extra time of this “between Sunday” to melt the stiltedness between her and everyone under this roof, including Skylar. Lovina had started the day grateful there wasn’t a church service. Even with what appeared to be everyone’s best efforts to relate to Ariana the way they used to, her limited time here since returning had been emotionally exhausting. No magic cleanser could wipe away the residue of her being such a different person from the one who left here. Rudy had arrived after lunch, which seemed to help the others relate to Ariana a little easier, maybe because he was so comfortable with her even after moving back to Indiana and living in a very strict Old Order Amish community while Ariana was away. But with or without Rudy, Ariana had been making strides to reconnect with her family—until the phone was discovered.

  Isaac shouldn’t have been so quick to agree to the bishop questioning Ariana. Noah Stoltzfoos wouldn’t admit it, but it seemed clear he didn’t like the Schlabach family.

  “Who is Quill to you?”

  “Just a friend. There is nothing else between us.”

  That Lovina believed, but she didn’t want any more worldly influences in her girl’s life. Between Skylar and Ariana, this house felt saturated in the world’s thinking. Both of them needed quiet time inside this God-fearing home and away from Nicholas.

  God, lead them. Guide them. Open the eyes of their hearts.

  Skylar’s three months here seemed to have been good for her. But Lovina knew Skylar’s decision to stay even after Ariana returned home had more to do with hurting the people who had raised her than anything else.

  There was a world of
choices spread in front of Ariana and Skylar. What would each one choose over the coming months?

  The bishop set his mug on a nearby end table. “Quill sneaks into Amish districts at night and helps people leave. If you count someone like that as a friend, the world is in you.”

  “God made the world, and He sent His Son to die for the world. Maybe there is a different way of thinking about the world.”

  “You are using a different meaning of the word world. Is that what you have returned for—to try to confuse your people? Will you help Quill in his quest to tear apart the Amish community?”

  “That is not his desire.” Ariana fidgeted with her intertwined fingers. “He would be happiest if no one needed him, and he reaches out to no one. He pushes his beliefs on no one.”

  The back door opened, and three voices echoed through the house—her sons Abram and Mark and her son-in-law Emanuel. Even though Lovina couldn’t see them from where she was, she knew they were returning from the evening milking. The rest of the family was scattered throughout the farmhouse doing whatever young people do at times like these. Mark and Abram came to the doorway. One glance at this room and their faces reflected the confusion and concern that seemed to be squeezing the breath out of Lovina. They had been in the barn milking cows when the phone was found and the bishop arrived.

  Mark gestured toward Ariana. “Something wrong?”

  Abram studied Ariana. What must he be feeling? He had grown up believing she was his twin. It hadn’t been easy, but he and Skylar had formed a bond during her three-month stay.

  “Nothing that concerns you.” Isaac attempted to shoo them away, but neither moved, which was surprising. Abram, like Ariana, had been very compliant all his life.

  Abram took a step into the room. “So it’s just a friendly visit, Ari?”

  Ariana rubbed her thumb against her palm and shrugged. “I’m fine. Denki.”

  But Abram didn’t budge. His eyes narrowed on her for a moment before he turned to his Daed. “Is she in trouble for something?”

  “She has a phone without permission for one”—the bishop zeroed his attention on Ariana—“and she should pass it to her Daed, as he told her to.”